Thursday, September 4, 2008

holding hands


feelings had been mixed again

questions running through my mind...

wondering what the hell i am doing...

funny how you can be so confused, pissed, upset

and then one little thing changes it all

some redemption.

then you're pissed because you have no reason to be pissed anymore. :)

i don't believe i ask much. and i don't think i get pissed that easily.

yeah, things effect me, and i show them on my face.
(what girl doesn't?)

i am aware how he feels, aware how this is hard for him.
(its hard for me too, in a different way)

but i can't help wanting to feel it....
wanting to hold hands in public....
and give sweet kisses randomly while walking through the mall.
arms around my waist, holding me close where everyone can see....
(all girls want this... right?)

and its not a lack of understanding that makes me feel how i feel

its just the wishful thinking, the hoping.
the wanting what i put in.
and i am in no way, shape or form upset with him.

it doesn't make me mad... it makes me sad.
but i know he knows that. and he said he would work on it.
(that makes me smile)

girls just want to feel important.
like their guy wants everyone to know-
HEY! This is my girl!

and most days i feel important..

this sounds all sad, considering i am not upset. Just thinking about why girls feel these things...
in the intense ways we feel them.
when i feel something like this...
it takes me over, almost immediately.

before you know it, I'm crying.
(not those sobbing tears, those super fast flowing tears)

and i sit with tears literally running down my face
not knowing why i am crying.

why are girls made this way?
i wasn't even upset, but it was like a knee jerk reaction.
(so weird)

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