all day...

all i have wanted, was to post a damn blog- thank god i finally have a chance to.
they are becoming critical for my health... lol.
heaven forbid i actually work while i am at work.

everyday is a little better then the one before...
smiles are getting bigger
confidence is growing
happiness is actually a part of me again
and its something i haven't felt for ages
something i forgot about.
i am the happiest i have been since my grandma died
and i am crediting 95% of it to him.

and people will judge that-
saying i shouldn't need a boy to make me happy...
and what not.
the truth is i don't need a boy to make me happy...
i just needed someone to make me smile
make me laugh
make me breath easier
to make me live
and it just so happens that the person i needed
came in the form of an amazing boy...
and whose gonna argue with that?

its beyond words the way i feel
which says how true and real it really is...
and i wish i could share it with the entire world
i wish i could stand on a roof and scream my heart out
but everytime i try to describe it
try to put words to it
they never come out right
in fact this is probably a huge nonsensical mess

but i am kinda a huge nonsensical mess
so i guess it fits...
:)